and though my throat was a singe waiting to be cut apart, i suffered through my day. my hearing level went down. and now my head pounds with every thrust of blood being brought to my temples. i waited for that recognizable tone. you never called.

have you ever woken up wishing you could be next to that someone? that one person who makes you feel just that much better inside? that one person who you can't wait to see, to talk to, to have those moments of laughter .. together. sometimes these pictures on my walls make me feel so alone. they're all so surreal, i can never touch them. no one.

but he makes me violently happy.

you're so close to me but i can't just touch you. you're not the type that would mind, but i'm not the type that would go for it. i can't take what's not there. and sometimes, i can't think when you're nearby.

there's no doubt in my mind knowing i would lie to you given the chance.

"you & i.. you never for me"
i can't keep what isn't mine.

xxxx