slight gravitational changes and the heaviest of thoughts are floating through my fingertips. as i drink from this full glass of "what if"'s (slowly turning into an empy glass of "what is"), i envision you talking to me and meaning it. every word past tense. and as i hold onto my blankets tonight, i'll hold this view of you infront of me and wish it was more than just a picture. as i close my eyes tonight, i'll lay you to rest and hopefully not dream till the sun erupts through my window & disturbs me from sleep. i'm hoping what i have will last me till the morning.

weren't we so different from the begining?
what was it you said to me then?
didn't we agree on the things we never mention now?

what doesn't matter to you shouldn't matter to me.
besides, didn't i tell myself a while ago that it's over?
i thought you'd be forgotten by now.
[you know me better than that.]

i owe so much at the moment.
i cannot escape debt.

xxxx