last night I took the final knife stab at our "friendship" .. whatever it may have been between us.

7 + 2 +2 + 2 +1 + 4 = 1+8= 9 completion.
I'm done with you, Kyle.
I'm done with feeling like I had done something wrong.. that I may have overreacted.. that I may have said too much or felt too much. when the whole time you were the one withholding from me. and even when you switched the gears to friendship- you still treated me the same way.

distant. cold. unattached. unaffected.
did you even ever want to be my friend?

cause when I look back, it seems to me that I initiated every time we had together. [from the very beginning to the very end.] and so now, I'm done. horrible timing your birthday is next week. I remember you telling me you had even bought me a card for mine. shame that I'll never know what it said.

and from .. whatever it was between us - I will take with me a part of myself that was self destructive and insecure. you will represent that timeframe for me and whatever may happen down the future.. I'll just say right now: it will never be the same between us.

I have seen what is greener on the other side.. and I'm afraid I'm not going to come back.